Maybe it's caused by being too direct, frustrated by others' incompetence, stress resulting in angry outbursts or managing with a "my way or the highway" style, and/or employees unhappy about something else.

I love the idea of knowing my strengths and spending most of my time there. When we are in the zone, it’s a place of comfort, ease, and increased energy. Acting outside our areas of strength can come across to others as awkward and usually feels emotionally draining.

I’m always inspired by Mahatma Gandhi’s quote “be the change you want to see in the world.” Any book about leadership best practices will tell us that leaders should be role models for what they want from others. I think this applies to relationships both vertically and horizontally within the organization.

In organizations, “defensive” typically means reacting out of a sense of feeling threatened or criticized, usually in ways that create unproductive interpersonal conflict.

It’s a common management trap to only give feedback when something is wrong, or when someone doesn’t meet our expectations. That’s normal, because many managers have a “fix-it” radar, e.g. – see a problem and address it.